The Gratitude Rx

A trauma victim, survivor, and life coach discusses how gratitude saved his life and has the power to greatly improve yours.

"How much would you pay for a miracle pill that would help you to feel more alive? Be happier and more fulfilled? Feel more optimistic about the future? Experience fewer symptoms of stress? Sleep better? Have a stronger immune system? Achieve more progress toward your personal goals? Live significantly longer?" These are the questions that I posed to an audience of about 100 seniors during my lecture, The Unexpected Gifts of Gratitude. Then I said: "well, the prescription is: GRATITUDE! It's the magic pill! And, it's free!"

Gratitude after trauma. Several years after being traumatized by what began with the murder of my wife by her tormented son, I came upon this quotation from Brother David Steindl-Rast: "The root of joy is gratefulness … It is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful." This quotation was nothing short of life-saving for me. In the wake of trauma, you lose your footing. Your world is shattered. It was when I was at the bottom of a deep, dark rabbit's hole that I stumbled upon Steindl-Rast's quotation. And, in all seriousness, it saved my life.

Gratitude's healing power. Despite all the tragedy that I endured, I still found reasons to be grateful — and that made all the difference. I was grateful to be alive. Grateful to my dear family for their limitless love and tireless support. Grateful to my compassionate, supportive friends. And, even grateful to those "friends" who abandoned me and betrayed me, as they revealed to me their true selves.

I began my daily gratitude practice before I would get out of bed each morning, considering three reasons that I had for feeling grateful. Later in the day, I would include gratitude in my journal. As my practice advanced, I explored the dimensions of gratitude: depth, specificity, and density. Try it for a month and observe how this powerful practice changes you!

Gratitude in stressful times. At times of unspeakable violence, cultivating a sense of gratitude may feel disingenuous. But, while gratitude may be the last thing that anyone thinks they should feel right now, it's actually more important than ever. Since gratitude reduces all kinds of stress, it is especially important to keep in mind during tumultuous times, because it can help counteract the negative emotions that threaten our emotional and physical health.

Blessings of gratitude. You don't need to be religious to practice gratitude. However, learning gratitude prayers from any tradition — Buddhist, Christian, Native American, Jewish, Islamic — may help us develop a daily practice. Thich Nhat Hanh offers a morning prayer that can be practiced by those of any faith or the faithless: "Waking up this morning, I see the blue sky. I join my hands in thanks for the many wonders of life; for having twenty-four brand-new hours before me."

Concluding remarks. Make gratitude a daily routine, independent of how you feel; independent of your circumstances; and independent of world news and world events. Do it for yourself — for your happiness and your emotional and physical health. Do it for others — for their happiness and for the joy you will receive from doing something kind. Do it for the world — as kindness and love makes a better world for us all.