In the Midst of Coronavirus Pandemic, Ask Yourself: Love Me, Love Me Not?

A trauma victim, survivor, and life coach reveals the power of self-love for surviving crisis and self-care for self-preservation.

In my struggle to survive, heal, and grow after my wife was stabbed to death by her eldest son, here's what I've discovered.

Acceptance. Now is the time to consider the wisdom of acceptance. That's the message of the Serenity Prayer: "Grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and wisdom to know the difference." After my wife's death, I was overcome with rage. I tried to tread water just to survive, until a quiet voice from within advised me: "stop treading, start floating." Acceptance can be life-saving.

Self-awareness. When life gives us the opportunity to stay inside, we can go even deeper inside to discover the silver lining in all this madness. As Marcus Aurelius wrote, "there is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind." Walks in nature, creativity, mindfulness, and meditation awaken our understanding of our mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual selves. For me, tragedy broke me open to learn a completely new awareness of myself.

Self-love. Most of us have great difficulty loving ourselves. To do so, we need to overcome our mind traps, mental blocks, and historic conditioning. The road to self-love requires self-discovery of our authentic selves; self-forgiveness; self-acceptance; self-respect; and self-compassion. It also requires us to learn that we are deserving of such love and that we are enough. If you decide to journey into self-love, as I did, your life will be transformed in wonderful and unimaginable ways.

Self-care. Self-care has always been about our self-preservation; the coronavirus pandemic underscores its importance. As Rabbi Hillel declares in Pirkei Avot: "If I am not for myself, who will be for me?" Taking care of ourselves requires taking responsibility for our choices. While we're all in this together, we don't need to be alone in self-directing our self-care — teachers, coaches, counselors, and therapists abound.

By taking personal steps towards acceptance, self-awareness, self-love, and self-care, we are better prepared to combat the coronavirus or, for that matter, anything else.