Caution: Avoidance Behaviors May Be Hazardous to Your Health

I recall my college professor discussing the scientific theory of evolution, as if it were yesterday. Actually, it was almost fifty years ago. He said that, sometimes, if a scientist discovers a beetle that doesn't "fit" the theory, he simply sweeps it under the rug! Ah, all of us have a tendency to push away unpleasant thoughts — feelings of not being enough, traumatic experiences, fears, worries about the future, laments about the past, and more. But, generally speaking, mental health professionals consider avoidance to be a maladaptive behavioral response to excessive fear and anxiety.

Facing our fears and anxieties can be daunting. But, embarking on that journey, either alone or with the help of a mental health professional, can ultimately be exhilarating. If we continue to sweep things under the rug, we wind up carrying around a lot of guilt, shame, fear, and anxiety. That's a heavy burden. It weighs us down and gets in the way of us being our best selves. If we continue to avoid, eventually, we can't breathe. Generally speaking, avoidance coping causes anxiety to snowball. The more we avoid, the more anxious we feel.

Before digging into the benefits of overcoming avoidance behaviors, I must advise my readers that there are certain circumstances in which avoidance can and should be used as an effective coping strategy. If the idea of overcoming certain avoidances gives you pause, I recommend that you contact a medical doctor or mental health professional for further guidance. Sometimes, avoidance is a form of self-protection. Avoiding certain thoughts, environments, people, and/or things may, indeed, be beneficial.

Fortunately, when it's in our best interests to overcome anxiety-producing avoidance behaviors, we can choose to push through and feel better. But, it's not easy. Prepare yourself for hard work ahead. Personally, I found the Hoffman Process provided me with audio tools, practices, and visualizations to help me do just that. A creative and dear friend of mine, David Hyman, also gifted me a tool he created for coping with the tendency to avoid unpleasantries — a prototype he calls Sweep It Under The Rug. It helps us to face the "stuff" that we want to bury.

The key to successful personal transformation begins with getting to know your authentic self. Then, learning to take actions that serve you best. When you face the things you've avoided, discard them, and replace them with positive actions, you're engaging in a different process than just sweeping things under a rug.

Don't be surprised if, initially, choosing to confront stuff that you've previously avoided makes you feel uncomfortable. But, after you've successfully unburdened yourself — by identifying what you had previously avoided, discarding it, and replacing it with something that better serves you — you should feel lighter. I know, I did.