Experiencing Life Without Drugs & Alcohol

A trauma victim, survivor, and life coach reveals the 'how' and the 'why' of abstinence, recovery and renewal, without drugs or alcohol.

Surviving tragedy & trauma. An unspeakable, unbearable tragedy shattered my world on July 2, 2011. As many trauma victims do, I had turned to drugs and alcohol to numb my pain. I thought that was the way to take the edge off. But, after many years, I became aware that numbing myself only prolonged my agony.

Breaking bad habits. Bad habits die hard. Behavior patterns persist within ourselves, within our families, and across generations, until we break the chain. As I struggled to recover from almost two decades of trauma, I found that I awakened to a spiritual place within myself, which led to my decision, on September 18, 2018, to stop relying on any drugs or alcohol.

Here's what I tell young members of my own family: "just because it's legal, it doesn't mean it's good for you!" Today, the opioid epidemic, fueled by greedy pharmaceutical companies, has cost the United States enormously — and, more devastating, the loss of one million American lives due to drug overdoses over the past decade alone. While it's easy to point a finger at big pharma, they can't force us to put drugs in our mouths. Ultimately, the choice is ours.

It's not that I'm flat-out against occasional, recreational use in moderation. It's just that I realized it no longer suits me. It gets in the way of experiencing how well designed I am to care for myself. By choice — not because drugs and alcohol brought me to my knees — I've replaced drug use with spirituality.

I am enough. In the wake of personal tragedy, I awoke to my own strength. At the Hoffman Process retreat, I chose to stop taking all my medications — and nothing bad happened. I returned forever changed for the better. On September 18, 2018, I decided to stop all alcohol and meds. My personal journey had finally led me to discover that I am enough. I went inside my self to find my serenity. Stopping wasn't difficult once I realized that I no longer needed outside influences to find my peace.

Creatures of habit. The good news is that we get to choose our habits. Love over hate. Kindness over selfishness. Compassion over cruelty. Gratitude over self-pity. Forgiveness over anger. Moderation over excess. Human connection over isolation. Courage over cowardice. We don't have to go through life on autopilot. We get to change outcomes by changing ourselves.

Self-Empowerment. You've got to own your actions; take responsibility. While we may be drawn to addiction on biological and psychological levels, we get to choose our habits. One of my favorite cartoons depicts a Zen Center storefront with a sign: "Seeking Enlightenment? Inquire Within." A passerby asks, "Where's the door?" The enlightened person responds: "No door." That sums up my main point in a nutshell: we need to go inside ourselves to change our lives. And, yes, we can!